maybe a new one-woman show? who knows…

imagine a dark stage with a desk under one light shining down and me sitting at it when a disembodied voice speaks:

[voice of executive director] Oh, by the way, I know we haven’t gotten a chance to interact much, but in case no one told you during your training, I wanted to let you know that it’s the organization’s policy that you keep your computer free of porn and racist sites. You can do whatever you like on your home time, but when you’re here, we don’t want anything that’s hateful, demeaning, or offensive to others popping up on your screen.

[me] Sure thing.

[voice] I know that censorship amongst artists is a real hot button issue, but we also take pornography and racism very seriously here in our workplace. Now, the only exception of course would be if you were doing research on a project about a given topic and needed to gather up evidence, but please use your discretion even then.

[me] Um, yes sir. Got it.

[voice] Oh, and one more thing. We all really try to help the front desk staff especially if they’re away or, you know indisposed, by greeting anyone who walks in the door within 30 seconds. Just you know, introduce yourself, hi, I’m blah, blah, blah…

[me]…I don’t use porn.

[voice] I’m sorry?!

[me] Oh, I just thought that was funny… You know, referring to our previous conversation.

Sorry. Guess not.