i remember
sitting in the church balcony
with allison

how we would pass
the time

methodist church was only a
59-minute hour

beat
the baptists to the
restaurant

and yet, the time
would drag
like fifth period social studies
after lunch
and too many yeast rolls

we would rub each other’s
arms
tickle
scratch

formula for cold chills:
x marks the spot
dot dot dot
spiders running up your back
spiders running down your back
tight squeeze
cool breeze

the intimacy & ease
of girls

the exchange of touching
was
a bull market

these days, i pay
indian women
to do my brows
every few months
save up until i
just can’t stand it
anymore

i lay back in the chair
thrilled and tortured
by the pinch

then the delicious release
as they lay their hands
just the little finger and
fleshy backside of the palm
softly
across my cheek
to steady their work

speaking in hindi across
my closed eyelids

sometimes, i’m sure,
about me

this one’s eyebrows are so grey
and curly
for a girl of her age
i hope she gives a good tip

but that’s just a fantasy
to be included in their world
at all

i hold my breath
and slowly

let

it

out

against wrists

quietly as i can
wondering if it ever
gives
a cold chill

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZEMsTk5SPSg]